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  • Writer's pictureMistress Arielle

Anal sex toys recommended by a professional mistress

There are a lot of different options to choose from when you want to buy a sex toy. We are all different and our bodies are build differently, there is no toys that suits everyone the same. Here is some recommendations that I have from my years of experience in anal play using different types of sex toys.

Why I would not recommend a vibrating toy:

Using a sex toy with vibration is similar to eating white processed sugar instead of eating a piece of fruit, in this case I would say you get the fast pleasure but you do not learn to have deeper orgasms. It will trigger an artificial, fast and intense pleasure by unnatural vibration and you train your body to crave a quick and intense orgasm in your sexual encounters. It will most likely make you less present with the person/-s you’re with and instead you get more focused in reaching your own pleasure. From a tantric perspective a vibrating toy triggers contractions in your body rather than the surrendering and expanding which characterises tantric sex and a tantric orgasm.

Butt plugs, dildos and beads:

Different anal toys have different functions, the guide below mostly apply to you choosing the right dildo for you but some of the tips below can also be used for other types of toys. Dildos speak for themselves, and for me as a woman they open an opportunity to step more into my masculine side. I would say that if you only would like one sex toy I would recommend you getting a dildo in the shape and size that you want.

A butt plug can be used as a mean to stretch your ass open to make you ready for getting fucked or fucking yourself with a bigger dildo. With butt plugs you can also have fun wearing it when you sit down at your computer to work or at a dinner as an exciting secret with your partner. Just be aware that it can start hurting after a while so it is good to have the possibility to quickly remove your butt plug privately if you need to.

Anal beads are 2 or more beads in a row that is stimulating the nerves around your sphincter muscle by continuously stretching your muscles open and closing around the beads. It is a pleasurable toy and it is especially good if you want to train your ass to relax more as you play with it. Anal beads come in many different shapes and prices. If you are looking into getting some anal beads I would recommend some that is made all in one material, usually silicone, this makes it easier to clean your toy. Silicone beads also adds a good stiffness to push the beads in one by one.

Another option is to buy a double dildo which gives you more length to work up to and it gives you a good grip when you play with yourself in the bed. A double dildo can of course also be a lot of fun for two…

How to choose your dildo:

I would recommend you to visit a physical sex shop when you’re planning to buy dildo, since then you will be able to see the actual size of the dildo and you might be able to squeeze the dildo and feel how firm it is. If you don’t have a sex shop close by you there is also online sex shops which have videos showing their toys, that way you can also see how firm the dildos are and better see the size.

How to choose the right size:

What size suits you differs a lot from person to person. I have dildos as small as a finger that suits some beginners, while others who have no previous experience of anal play can take a dildo that is quite a lot bigger. To decide what size you should buy I would suggest that you try out fingering your ass before, that way you know how much your ass will stretch (can you take 1 finger, 2 fingers, 3 fingers…) and choose the girth of the dildo accordingly. Length wise I would suggest about 5-6 inches (12-15cm) insertable length for your first dildo. As you become more experienced you will most likely want some bigger toys, usually when you buy a bigger dildo you will want to try it out a few times yourself first before someone fucks you with it in a strap on, that way you can take your time and get used to the size in the pace you need.

Materials in toys:

There is  many different materials in sex toys and different reason to use the different types, my favourite material in dildos is a good quality rubber (not to be confused with jelly dildos which I often find too soft). I prefer rubber to silicone since I find that the the silicone dildos can be a bit too stiff and too hard, I like toys that squeezes a little bit more. Another reason to why I prefer rubber toys to silicone toys start to dissolve when you use silicone lube, and I prefer using a good quality silicone lube rather than water based lube.


When you choose the material of the dildo you can also decide on the shape of them. There is dildo’s which are very natural looking that has balls and veins or there is more plain looking dildos. Personally I prefer some veins on my cock, to give it a bit more structure. However if I for some reason would buy a silicone dildo I would choose a smooth one or one with very small veins, since the material is a bit firmer the veins does not feel as pleasurable as the ones on a softer type rubber dildo.

To choose if your dildo should have balls of not is also a matter of personal preference, however it does have its practical benefits as well. A dildo with balls and a suction cup can be a very good option as a strap on dildo, the reason why is because the balls will protect you against any uncomfortable parts of the strap on such as metal rings.


Choosing the colour of your toy is all up to personal preference, I like them black because I just think it looks better. It has happened however that I have bought a dildo in skin colour to really have it feel like my real cock. The only thought on colour I have is that lighter dildos easily get discoloured when they come in touch with a strap on harness or other toys that bleeds colour.

More things to think about:

Another good recommendation is that you buy a dildo with a suction cup base, it is very helpful if you want to put the dildo in a strap on harness, is also very helpful if you want to have some fun on your own just stick the suction base to the wall in your shower in a good hight and enjoy riding it while hot water is pouring down your body.

Last recommendation for you is to always use a condom on your dildo. Of course that is important if you use the toys on different people, however I do also use condoms on my personal toys since it is easier to clean and the condom also protect me from potential chemicals in the toys.

3,038 views5 comments


Aug 08, 2022

Thank a lots for your splendid introduction of strapon and dildo. I have the same experience of vibration strapon as you. Vibration strapon is not recommended for training a slave to have control and surrender. I have one plugg/dildo who can control on distance. It is fantastic as a slave to have it inside and controlled by a Mistress. The plugg/dildo name is Lovlance Hush.


Apr 20, 2021

thank you for all these relevant information Natasha


Apr 18, 2021

Dear Mistress, could you recommend any webshop or supplier when buying a dildo. Prefer theme a bit flexible, around 8 cm thick and 30-40 cm long.

Best regards



Mistress Arielle
Mistress Arielle
Jun 08, 2020

I would suggest dildo in the right size for you, if you plan to use it in the shower I suggest a dildo with a suction cup or if you're mainly planning to use the dildo in bed I suggest a double dildo for better grip.


Jun 07, 2020

Awesome post! If you had to choose one thing, what would be your favorite?

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